Sorry for not writing in awhile. Actually, I'm really not sorry, I just didn't feel like writing. Well, thats not exactly true, but I'm also a little troubled that I started this blog off with an apology. Apologies are such bull??? in general since they're rarely ever heartfelt and true. Not that they should be, it just makes it more convincing to the person you're apologizing too. The only real reason for an apology is to make sure you don't step on anyones toes that could potentially ??? you over in the future.
With that in mind, I apologize.
Anyway, I haven't been blogging. I got a premium gig over at Starcitygames.com and one of the stipulations for upgrading my pay rate substantially was to stop any and all writing/podcasting/etc for any other sites. It wasn't some kind of vengeance thing or anything against TCG, its just they can't justify making me premium when people can read my musings elsewhere for free.
It's not really about the money.
It's all about the money.
Even as I write now I'm in breach of contract, but honestly I don't really care. I'm all about pushing the boundaries to their break point. I was always the one in grade school who pissed the teachers off just enough so I wouldn't get in any major trouble, like being sent to the P's office. Although I did find myself sent outside the classroom on a handful of times. Such a rebel. I guess this blog is a tribute to that.
I honestly really like the blogging experience though. It's so refreshing to be able to say anything you want and not need to polish it up by a deadline. If I ever developed large moobs (man-boobs) I would suspect that the blogging experience is much like taking your bra off after a long day of work. In fact, I'd actually like to know what its like to have boobs, its always been one of those deep dark fantasies that you're not supposed to talk about in public. I'd imagine it'd be even harder for me to get work done though since I'd spend a good portion of my time just fondling them.
= /
I guess my whole purpose for writing this "last blog" was to get some closure, which is something I encourage everyone to do in all aspects of their life. Whether it be an ex g/f that you ended on bad terms or a former friend who cheated with your ex g/f. Closure is something very important to continue progressing with your life that settles the demons of your past.
For instance, I'm still deeply in love with my girlfriend from my freshman and sophomore year in high school. We didn't necessarily end on bad terms, but I was stupid when it came to relationships back then and broke up with her for irrelevant reasons. That decision haunts me to this day since I "broke" her heart and haven't had the chance to sit down and apologize for my wrong doings. Then she got with one of my best friends at the time, but she was still "seeing" me behind his back. Then she dumped him to get with me again. We fumbled around a bit with no official relationship established, then had a falling out and haven't talked in 4 years.
Not a week goes by that I don't recall that particular event in my short life. And the worst part about it is I'm not sure if she still thinks of me. Drives me crazy sometimes. I'm almost tempted to just go knock on her parents house to ask for some contact info, but I'm a little more worried about receiving a restraining order or some other interaction with the law. That last sentence is complete bull???. I could care less about the repercussion from the law, I'm just too much of a pussy to ring the door bell. Which makes me a little depressed at my ball-less state.
And gawd she was sooo perfect. I'm such a buffoon.
Lesson: Closure is key. For me at least.
Peace,
Sanchez
